Navigating Bad Body Image Days
We all have a body, so we all have body image (essentially, how we perceive this earth suit we call home). Some days, it might be neutral, others it might be positive, others it might feel hard to get out of bed and navigate the world in your skin. The truth is, our bodies do not change much on the day to day; however, the way we feel in them and about them can change drastically in minutes. Living in a body can be uncomfortable- both physically and mentally. We’re here because we hear you, we get it, and we want to support you through it.
Working on our body image does not mean automatically jumping to self-love. It means working with feelings of discomfort and building tolerance with our here-and-now body because bodies are meant to change. No matter what size body you live in, you can experience a negative body image day.
In working towards repairing your relationship with your body, the goal is not necessarily to LOVE what you see in your reflection every second of every day (though, that is not impossible or a “bad” goal!). The culture we live in makes it extremely difficult to feel positive, or even neutral, about our bodies due to the incessant obsession with appearance and body size.
We see body image work as a deliberate practice. Something that you choose to commit to each day, because life is simply more enjoyable when we aren’t lamenting about our body and perseverating on what doesn’t fit the beauty standards de jour. Choosing to respect your body and tend to it with kindness no matter how you may feel about it may be a radical act, but it leads to a much more positive life.
Here are a few places you can turn to when you’re confronted with a difficult body image day:
What else could be going on?
One of the first questions I always ask clients, or myself when I am feeling crummy in my skin, is what else could be going on?
Did you get a mediocre night’s sleep?
Is the weather humid and sticky?
Did you get in a fight with your friend/partner/coworker/family member?
If you are somebody who menstruates, are you expecting your period?
Is it finally starting to be warm outside and you need to bring out your summer clothes? Has this time of year historically been hard for you to feel comfortable and compassionate toward yourself?
Has your body changed and you are not used to living in your current body?
In our weight-centric world, we are taught to blame our bodies. We are told that we are always a work in progress, striving to be the smallest version of ourselves. Because of this, it is only natural that when we experience sadness, frustration, or disgust, we then relate it back to our bodies. The diet industry tells us that our bodies are something to be controlled, so when other things in life feel more out of our control, we might turn to our bodies as a place to focus. Acting on urges to change our bodies through restriction or a diet, teaches our body to expect deprivation and punishment when we feel dissatisfied in the future.
The truth is, we cannot control our genetics, and therefore changing our bodies in the short-term won’t resolve negative body image in the long-term.
Instead of blaming your body or defaulting to the too common phrase “I feel fat,” practice naming the emotion you might be feeling. Feeling stuck? Read through this for a couple ideas.
What has helped you in the past to feel more comfortable?
Do you have a favorite song, album, comfort show, or movie? Can you carve out some time for yourself to sit and be present with it?
Some TV that I would recommend for a mood boost: Ted Lasso, The Good Place, New Girl (TW: fatphobic comedic relief), Lizzo’s Watch Out for the Big Grrrls
Is there a friend that always knows exactly what to say? Or, maybe a friend that doesn’t comment on bodies at all? That might be the sweet spot.
Have you eaten enough? Are you thirsty? Have you responded to your body’s cues? Hanger never helps. If it’s been 3-4 hours since the last time you ate, try having a snack or a meal.
Do you have a favorite outfit?
If you are having a challenging body image day, it is ok to use outfits and clothing that you know support you in making decisions that help you to take care of your body.
If an outfit feels tight, or brings up thoughts of restriction, take ! it ! off !
Some Journal Prompts to Consider
Remember, even if you are not feeling connected and content with your body, you deserve respect.
What does respect in a relationship look like to you? How do you tell that somebody respects you? How could you apply this to your relationship with your body?
Explore your relationship with others and how you engage in the world
How would a close friend describe you? What qualities do you think you bring to a relationship that are important? Try to keep physical attributes out of this list.
Your ability to be a friend, partner, family member, part of a community, etc is not dependent on your body shape or size
Bodies are meant to change
How did trying to live in a different, smaller body require you to treat your body? What did that feel like?
How might living in a changing body better support your future goals? Why might your current body be the right body for you here and now? What would you tell a friend who was voicing discomfort in their current body?
Body gratitude
What does your body allow you to do? What can you thank it for?
Some examples to think about: functioning digestion, legs that allow movement, fingers that allow you to communicate via text and email, arms that allow you to hug, etc.
Having a bad body image day will not last forever. And leaning into acceptance and respect, will help to reduce the discomfort the next time you start to feel a negative body image day creeping in. You’ve got this! This is hard, and you can do hard things.
Looking for more support around body image? Reach out to hello@liberatednutrition.com to request a 1:1 session.
