Eating for Comfort
Why I am not Concerned About You Eating for Comfort
Emotional eating gets a bad rep. It is unbelievably human to crave comfort in response to intense or difficult emotions. Think about when somebody experiences a break up or loses a loved one– there is a reason that the norm is to bring them desserts or a warm meal. Food can be a tool to self-soothe, to temporarily reduce the amount of discomfort you are experiencing, and even to find joy. That being said, ideally it is not your only tool. Just like I would never want you to *only* be able to cope with a strong emotion by going on an X mile run, I don’t want you to need food to get through a challenge because it might not always be an option for you in the future. That’s why we always think about having a toolbox, so you can have multiple options to use in collaboration with food.
So, let yourself eat in response to the urge. Plate the item, sit down, and take a deep breath. You are allowed to do this. You are doing nothing wrong. Let yourself slow down and be present.
On a physiological level, being mindful and present with food activates our parasympathetic nervous system, our rest and digest state of being. It signals to our mind and body that we are safe from harm. So, in a time of perhaps a heightened nervous system due to stress, sadness, fear, overwhelm, or even boredom (an uncomfortable feeling in its own right), intentionally having something comforting to eat can be a solid and effective outlet for regulating our nervous system. The act of chewing and tasting food itself can be incredibly soothing, even if only for a moment.
After allowing yourself to give into the feelings and eat, there are a few things to think about for next time…
What role was the food serving? How were you hoping to feel by eating?
How did you feel afterwards? Did you notice feeling better or more grounded? Did you notice a change in stress levels, either up or down?
Did you taste the food? What textures and flavors did you notice? If not, what kind of physical sensations are you noticing now?
What else could you pair with the food next time this feeling arises? Could you call a friend, journal, take a walk, scream into a pillow, listen to your favorite song, watch a comfort show, wash your face, or make an appointment for support?
What else is going on here? Why might you be feeling the need to self-soothe?
Sometimes this can be helpful for increasing your self-compassion. You might not be able to “fix” whatever else is going on, though bringing awareness to why you are seeking comfort is a great way to build recognition
If this is the first time you have asked yourself these questions, it might be hard to answer them. These questions are not here to bring about judgement or shame, rather to open the space for you to get curious and learn about yourself. Sometimes this space is best taken with a guiding hand and support, so don’t hesitate to bring them into your next session with your dietitian. I always remind clients that every time you eat or react to a situation, you are collecting data that will help us to better understand what you need for next time. We are all a work in progress!
What if all that sounds good is comfort food?
I often hear that food in the winter months can be more challenging. As somebody who loves to cook, I feel it too. My motivation to think of what to have, to spend time in the kitchen, to walk to and from the grocery store is low. So, perhaps we can choose things that truly sound good. I won’t speak for you, but a cold, crunchy salad when it is under 20 degrees outside sounds like the last thing I want to eat. Tomato soup and grilled cheese, on the other hand, sign me up!
It is natural for your interest and cravings in food to change, and I am here to remind you that it is ok if some of your usual foods don’t sound so good right now. I encourage you to focus on adding to what does sound good, instead of limiting what you are eating.
How Do I still Focus on my Health??
Hear me out– I am not going to tell you to prioritize your vegetables or build a plate around them. Because while yes all those micronutrients and vitamins are important, your mental and emotional health are important, too. Vegetables are just one part of the equation, and I will always prioritize overall adequacy over portions of individual components.
If finding meals that prioritize vegetables above all else is causing you stress and making you feel as though nothing is “good enough,” then that is no longer supporting your health.
This might be a good moment to check in with what you’re eating and assess what is present. Remember that no sauce or ingredient negates the health benefits of the other foods on your plate. If a creamy chicken pot pie helps you to eat some peas or a slice of pizza with spinach helps you to get in some greens, so be it!
If the idea of cooking in general is feeling overwhelming and uninteresting, now is a good time to think of some contingency meals:
What can you cook that you feel confident about?
Do you have any recipes or meals that you can whip out in under 30 minutes?
How often is it realistic for you to plan on cooking in a week? (It is ok if the answer is 1!)
What kind of frozen meals can you have on hand?
What kind of sandwich ingredients would make you feel excited?
Do you have any favorite meals from childhood?
If you are finding that you have been eating fewer vegetables and you’d like to add in some more, there are ways to incorporate them without making them the star of the show. Can you toss some spinach into the sauce you are making? Or, add a vegetable with dip to the charcuterie board? Can you put lettuce and tomato on your sandwich? Would a smoothie sound like a fun beverage to incorporate? Or maybe none of these things feel right... Not every meal will have a vegetable, and that is ok! Your nutrition is about what you do most of the time, and one month or a cold few weeks is not going to change that. Not everything needs to be “healthified”. Health is not black and white- there are shades of grey. Sometimes the healthy thing is giving yourself grace, permission and the forgiveness that we are all imperfect eaters. ALL food has something to offer, and sometimes we practice food as self care in a way that tends to our emotional hungers rather than physical hunger or nutrient needs, and thats OK.
As always, I am always going to focus on what you can add to your meals, not what you can limit or takeaway. So if you are living anywhere where it is absolutely frigid right now, I am going to feel more concerned about you focusing on raw veggies and cold-pressed juices than I am about you enjoying a warm cookie. Remember: you are allowed to enjoy your food and derive pleasure from it. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and food can be a part of that. Life can also be incredibly challenging and fraught with difficult emotion, but also offers opportunity for pleasure and joy.
