Eating Around the Holidays
What if the urge to eat differently feels like the best option?
This time of the year can be really challenging– work gets busy, students have more exams, the pressure to shop and be social increases, and diet culture can get louder. If listening to diet culture and trying to manipulate your food to shrink your body has brought comfort and compliments in the past at a time with more stress, it makes sense that you might be tempted to listen to it again. It makes sense that you might lean into the idea that if you can just manage the weight loss this year, you will receive praise. And while I wish I could say that’s not true, we have to acknowledge that we live in a society that prioritizes thinness above all else….but things are changing! And you get to be a part of the change.
Change is rarely easy, though often it is so worthwhile. I promise you that a life focused on taking care of you in place of changing your body is possible, and I push you to question “how could my life be better if my body wasn’t the focus?”
Maybe this is your first holiday season working on changing your relationship with food, or maybe it’s your fifth. It keeps changing. You will have many more. If this one isn’t what you want it to be, maybe next year it will be. Let this be a motivator not a deterrent— you are entitled to a life of peace with food and your body. Your body is not the problem. Your body was never the problem.
So what do I need to do?
Eat Consistently
Meals might look a little different this time of year. There are more social eating events, and some of the holiday meals might be served at different times from what you’re used to (think: dinner at 2/3pm). The good news is that is ok! Your body can handle a meal at any time! What your body needs in order to help you feel your best is consistent nourishment. Think: something going into your body every 3-4 hours. That might look like more snacks spread throughout the day, or rearranging your typical meal and snacks to include more or after a meal.
The big thing is: your body still needs enough food and having a bigger meal does not mean you don’t need to eat your other meals.
Restricting is Not the Answer
Read that one more time. Restricting is NOT the answer. I know some well-meaning friend, relative, or 17 Magazine article that you read when you were 12 might have told you to “save up” for the holiday meal, and I am sorry that messaging ever entered your head. Restricting prior to a meal makes it harder for you to be present, both in terms of being mentally present and being present in your body in a way that you are able to tell what amount of food feels good and satisfying.
This also means eating breakfast, no matter what! If including something new and fun feels out of reach, go for something you know you can handle. You can replicate your norm, or include something that you enjoy. If your plans include brunch, I’d encourage you to consider having a snack before the meal, especially if it’ll be multiple hours between waking up and eating.
Restricting makes it really challenging to be in touch with your fullness cues, and makes it more likely for you to land in a place of feeling overly full rather than satisfied.
Talk to your Dietitian, and/or start to think ahead
If you have a dietitian, they are your best friend in this situation. Tell them everything! Talk about the foods that will be present, tell them your favorite and least favorite items, tell them about timing and travel. Together, you can make a plan for how to best support you.
If you don’t have a dietitian, you can still do some of this planning on your own. I’d encourage you to think about the following:
What time is the meal?
Who do you usually sit around?
What is the conversation around bodies?
Who has historically made food or body shaming comments?
Hint: maybe limit the time you spend with this person around meal time. Say hello when you first arrive, then take some space!
Will there be food options for you to eat?
If you have an allergy or intolerance, are there things that might be missing from the meal to allow you to meet your needs?
Can you speak with the host? Or, could you offer to bring an item so you will have enough to eat?
Then, start to think:
Who would be a good resource for me if I start to feel overwhelmed?
What can I say if somebody mentions something about my plate?
How can I remove myself from a situation if I start to feel overwhelmed? Can I step outside? Where is the bathroom? Is there a friend I can text to vent to?
What foods am I excited about eating or trying?
Think about how you want the holidays to feel in the future
Sometimes it is hard to think about change if certain patterns around the holidays have been present for years or decades of your life. I’d encourage you to pause and think about you would want to feel at the holidays. What kind of emotions would you hope to experience? How would you experience hunger and fullness? What kinds of foods would you like to taste?
Can you consider your values? Do your attitudes around food/body/exercise align with your values, or is there a value you would like to live in more alignment with this year? This might be something along the lines of being present, family, love, tradition, balance, friendship, etc. Our values can provide a compass in navigating decisions around exercise or our relationship with food and body.
Keep this in mind when the holidays feel hard. There is no such thing as perfect eating, and as humans, we are going to make mistakes. Mistakes and challenges do not mean that we give up, though. It means we learn about where we need to keep working. It means that next year, or at the next holiday, we know what things we want to feel different.
We’re rooting for you always. You can do this!
